Funny Tips that will probably get you no where in life
You hate me? Well OK, grab a chair and wait for me to care.
First day of school - I'm actually gonna try this year! Next week - F*** it.
Keep your head high & your middle finger higher.
Losing your phone is like losing your life.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bulls***.
You f*** with my sleep, and I will kill you.
Chocolates doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolates understand.
Everything's funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my ice cream. My point is, you're worthless.
My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry.
Life is better in the summer.
Middle finger in your profile picture? You must be really classy.
Oh you make fun of mentally disabled people? You deserve a slap in the face with a f****** glass bottle.
Calling my mom "Mother" so she knows s***'s about to get real.
Have no regrets, Except all those Facebook pages you liked back in 2009, regret those.
Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski.
Teachers act fake when the principal comes in the classroom. Remember that.
Relationships are worth fighting for, but you can't be the only one fighting.
Oh you can't sleep tonight? Please tweet and update Facebook about your insomnia plenty of people would like to know.
Oh YOLO? Tell that to zombies.
Oh you love Blackberry so much? Please tell me more about not being able to afford an iPhone.
Running away doesn't help you with your problems, unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.
First day of school - I'm actually gonna try this year! Next week - F*** it.
Keep your head high & your middle finger higher.
Losing your phone is like losing your life.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bulls***.
You f*** with my sleep, and I will kill you.
Chocolates doesn't ask silly questions. Chocolates understand.
Everything's funnier when you're not allowed to laugh.
You're the jelly to my burger, the knife to my soup, the glitter to my sushi, and the ketchup to my ice cream. My point is, you're worthless.
My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry.
Life is better in the summer.
Middle finger in your profile picture? You must be really classy.
Oh you make fun of mentally disabled people? You deserve a slap in the face with a f****** glass bottle.
Calling my mom "Mother" so she knows s***'s about to get real.
Have no regrets, Except all those Facebook pages you liked back in 2009, regret those.
Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski.
Teachers act fake when the principal comes in the classroom. Remember that.
Relationships are worth fighting for, but you can't be the only one fighting.
Oh you can't sleep tonight? Please tweet and update Facebook about your insomnia plenty of people would like to know.
Oh YOLO? Tell that to zombies.
Oh you love Blackberry so much? Please tell me more about not being able to afford an iPhone.
Running away doesn't help you with your problems, unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.